The Donor Group is more than just another egg donor agency.
You’re not a statistic, ready to pass through our door. Likewise, we like to think we’re not just a faceless corporation! Instead, we see ourselves as a community of like-minded people. And that includes you… hey, we’re in this together!
We’re here to support one another, to build trust, and to act as a team, helping people to achieve the ultimate dream – creating a family. It’s our common goal. It’s why we’re all here, and we’ll stay here until our mission is complete.
We like to think of it as the power of Ubuntu. It’s a word that’s popular in South Africa, and sums up the late, great Nelson Mandela’s attitude to life. Ubuntu is about the recognition that we’re all bound together in ways that can’t be seen by the naked eye. There’s an oneness to humanity, and we make achievements in life by sharing ourselves with others. And as we all know, there’s no greater thing than sharing the gift of life.
The Donor Group Manifesto
We’re a community. We’re here to provide support, to show commitment to the cause and to work for the common goal. In short, we’re here to achieve big things.
All communities have rules and philosophies – guidelines that everyone agrees to follow. Here’s our manifesto. Have a read through, and if you agree, please join us on our mission!
1. We’re in it together.
Our fabulous egg donors are like the wingman we never had. They’re the best friend that’s making big things happen for us, the protective guardian that’s got our best interests at heart. They’re working hard to make our dreams a reality, and we’re all grateful to them. Think of this like a team – we’re united, we’re here to support one another and we can make this happen. (This is the point where we usually release the cheerleaders for a bit of celebratory whooping!)
2. We don’t quit…even when the going gets tough.
Nobody ever said the donor process was easy. Some days, we might feel horrible. We might feel we’ll never get to hold our babies in our arms, and that it might just be easier to throw in the towel and hide under the covers for a week or two. But even if it takes longer than initially planned – we’ll still keep at it. We’re not quitters, and we’re in this for the long haul.
Donors, there will be times when you don’t relish the prospect of giving yourself yet another shot. Nor do you enjoy staying sober at the party, while everyone else polishes off the wine. However, you’ve got the same goals as we have, and together, we can get through it and achieve results. All together now… we’ll never quit, right?
3. We’re focused.
You know that pep-talk that coaches give the team before a big day? Or the rallying speeches that great leaders give before going into battle? Well, here’s ours! Our advice? Stay focused, but not on the negatives. Try not to let your mind linger on the shots, the anxiety, or the time taken off work. Instead, keep that positive image in your mind – that beautiful end goal. Visualize it and cherish how it makes you feel to be a parent. Now get back into battle with renewed energy… remember, we’re fighting right alongside you!
4. We look after ourselves.
Hey, our bodies are wonderful things. Don’t go abusing them, please! In order to make this work, we need to all give ourselves the best chance of success. We need to eat well, get plenty of sleep, relax regularly and keep our fitness levels up. We need to skip the cigarettes, avoid alcohol and prime our bodies to the max. It’s a demanding process, and if it’s going to be a success, we all need to make this commitment. Plus, when you’re parents, you’ll need all the energy you can get!
5. We celebrate achievements.
Obviously, some accomplishments are bigger than others. But that doesn’t mean that the lesser ones are any less worthy of celebration. Remember, the large leaps we take in life often aren’t possible without those important small steps beforehand. By recognizing even the little achievements, you’re acknowledging the path you’re traveling. We celebrate not only every pregnancy, but every ultrasound, every successful blood test, every shot. Why? Because they’re part of the journey, and every step matters.
6. We’ve got a winning attitude.
Buddha once said: “We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.” Now there’s someone who knew what they were talking about! Success is all about attitude, and if you can develop a positive mind-set, you stand a far better chance of succeeding.
In fact, scientific studies back this up. Research from Concordia University showed that optimists had lower levels of cortisol, the ‘stress’ hormone. Get positive, enjoy less anxiety, and boost your chances of fertility success. Simple!
7. We recognize it’s okay to have ‘off days’.
There will inevitably be days when you feel overwhelmed. You might feel frustrated, angry, stressed out or even depressed about the situation. Recognize that those feelings are normal. Every parent who has been through the egg donor process knows exactly how you feel.
It’s okay to feel like that sometimes. Give yourself permission to have an ‘off day’ and don’t feel pressured to pretend you’re okay. Instead, get your feelings out in a journal. Go for a long walk. Talk to a friend. Punch all the feathers out of the nearest cushion if it helps. Do whatever you need to do, and don’t feel the need to apologize for it. It’s natural!
8. We’re not afraid to ask questions.
The egg donor process can be complicated and there are parts that aren’t so easy to get your head round. It’s only to be expected that you might feel confused from time to time. However, it’s okay to ask questions, no matter how dumb you might think they seem. Chances are, they’re not dumb at all. Remember, this is an open, honest community. If you want to know something, just ask us and we’ll make sure you get an answer. Ask anything, but don’t bother asking us for next week’s lottery numbers. We’re no good with questions like that!
9. We believe.
We believe in what we’re doing and we have faith that it will work. Egg donation is a deep, emotional process, and we all have hope for one another. Our hearts are into this, 100%.